Here is a story of an event that pretty much defines the standard woman:
Around a friends house (who may or may not wish to remain nameless) we’re watching a DVD. Being a bloke I realize that there is something wrong with the picture, the following ensues:
Me: Lets have the remote I think the aspect ratio is wrong.
Remote gets handed, TV gets switched from normal to wide (or some such) picture no londer looks stretched
Her: Oh no I like it like that, it makes all the skinny actresses look fat.
Me: …
So there you have it.
Next week, chocolate and its amazing power!
randomtask 
if i were you, i would give up now! the female species will never be understood by men….just as the male species will never be understood by us….even though you have obviously worked out our bitter love/hate relationship with skinny and pretty acresses….and the universal healing powers of chocolate….we shall always remain an enigma to the average man!
following on from that, how about one universal law for men , one universal law for women and one universal law for children, as all three different.