I have heard this said before; that you are shaped by your internal monologue. I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks and here’s my take on it:
Yes and no.
Or, it’s easy to have an internal monologue that dissuades you from doing things – “I could never do…” but I think it’s equally possible to have an internal monologue that deceives you. I’ll endeavour to give examples of both from my own life so you can see if I’m making any sense.
Firstly self deception: I have two examples.
“I am very busy”. On the face of it this is true – it’s very easy for me to convince myself and anyone who’s listening of this, simply by listing the projects I’m doing at the moment:
- Writing a travel book
- Buying a house
- Writing a speech
- Doing a photography degree
Wow, look how busy I am! It’s a wonder that I can even find the time to write this blog post. Except if I delve a little deeper, yes all the projects I listed above have been started. But when was the last time that I actually did something for one of them? I’ll tell you – it’s probably been over two weeks since I sat down and actually put some effort into my book or my speech. Longer for the others (to be fair the house thing is in the hands of solicitors at the moment so I have nothing to do).
What do I do with my evenings (other than craft startlingly insightful blog posts)? I pretty much sit and bum around on the internet looking at tech sites and watching things on BBC iplayer or 4od.
Yet I still have an internal monologue of “Wow I’m really busy”
That’s the first deception.
Second: I’m really health. Compared to some people I am, but not as much as I’d like to believe. I’ve been using a tracking website called 42 goals and I make a record of all gym visits, swimming sessions, cycle rides and ‘naughty food’. Fact is I’ve been having a lot more ‘naughty food’ and been going to the gym a lot less that I tell myself. In fact this month I’ve had 16 ‘treats’ – that’s getting pretty close to an average of one a day.
OK that’s how I have been deceived by my own thoughts. This was my main driver for writing this post so I don’t have an eloquent positive story to tell, for this reason I’ll pass it over to someone with a more compelling story to tell: