Well today, this morning, before breakdancing, I went to get my hair cut.

I was hoping that I had found a cheap and good hair dresser…
The ‘stylist’ asked me how I found the place, I said I was just walking past and popped in. She was surprised. I asked why.
Apparently most people that go there have had recommendations or seen/heard (wasn’t sure if it was radio or TV) their advert. Their advert with a voice over by Joanna Lumley.
It was when the words ‘Joanna Lumley voice over’ and ‘advert’ appeared in a sentance about a hair dresser. The hair dresser that I was currently sitting in, flicking through a classic car magazine. It was around about this time that I started to get that sinking feeling, in my wallet.
Things were about to get worse.

‘I’ve just cut off your fringe, now you’ll have to use “product” every morning or you’ll look really stupid’ [insert crazy south african accent]
‘….. ‘
‘Yeah just make sure that this bit of hair stays down at the front, otherwise your hair will look…. really stupid’
‘… ‘
It was about this time that the wise words of Eddie Izzard returned to me.
In the circle of style, looking really cool is right close to looking like a dickhead.
I think my ‘stylist‘ was trying to push this cool boundry.

If I were sure there were no trained psychologists within ear-shot then I would say that she was projecting the desire to change her husband onto her male customers.
If there were any psychologists in the room then I would obviously keep stum, Because this is quite probably a load of crap.

At add insult to injury, after settling the bill of forty fecking POUNDS and sliently vowing to never return, I walked out into a stiff head wind. This, I’m quite sure, moved the vital lock of hair from ‘cool’ to ‘stupid’.

So now there are now two hair dressers in Guildford that I’ll never go to again.